Friends

This is mostly relevant to tyrantvirus, kame_pie and magicaltophat but might also be relevant to _brokeneternity, biverbal and loisneach.

HOW TO PLAY A PROPER TEAM FORTRESS 2 MEDIC

( Details below. )

A few things while I sit around here and chill out.

I discovered Pandora. I don't know why it's taken that long to figure this out. I'm always the last on the trend train. Still holding out against Facebook. Better than the radio, better than randomizing my playlist as it'll play stuff I don't have and should.

Kyle and I broke up. Largely due to the fact that he was unable to make time for me in our relationship. He'd say he'd call, and then never would. I don't begrudge him going out and having fun with his friends, but I do take exception to being put up on the shelf for days on end until -he- was ready to have a girlfriend again. I blame a lot of this on his age, of the pure self centered-ness of being that age, that some people don't seem to be ready to -share- their lives when in a relationship. If you can make time for video games, you should be able to make time for the person you claim to love. In the end, I just wasn't that important, and it fucking kills me to say it. Actions speak louder than words, and being able to let someone go, and to do anything -but- talk to them... In a relationship that is based on nothing but talking, when you aren't, there isn't much left.

What's torturing me now, is that in the week or so we've broken up, he's decided that he can message me more in this space of time, than he had in the entire month. I wasn't important enough until he lost me, again? It's difficult to say what's going on in his mind. Needless to say, I'm hurt, I'm crushed, and I'm going to move on because there isn't anything left in this relationship. As my friend said, "he's a lazy tardface" (direct quote) and that I'm too good for it. Gotta appreciate the way your friends will take care of you when they think you need it.

So of course, all of my insecurities have come back to the forefront. Not being good enough to fucking talk to, being abandoned or discarded... tie into the fact that at the same time, another online friend has apparently dropped me for no reason that I can discern, it's just eating away at me. "Friend" won't tell me and I finally told him off and called him off for not being man enough to tell me to my face why he's not talking to me. I suspect it's another ego trip of his. Being forgotten or discarded is the worst thing I can think of, the absolute horror to my mind, and it's happening in strange places and by more than one person. Enough to break fragile egos and self confidence.

But you know what? Fuck 'em. It's their loss. They'll grow up, maybe, someday, and realize what they done, and regret it.

Jessie's coming over tonight, and I'm working on picking things up a bit. She's allergic to cats, but she's just gonna have to suffer through Adam's presence and hanging about. He's still a good cat. I bet he's slept on the sheets under the futon. It seems like something he'd do. Sitting here innocently.

I beat Dragon Age on my first play through finally. Going through for a human noble now, female, though I should probably be playing a guy or something. Maybe on my next play through. Slogging through Aion slowly. Considering going back to WoW on Immortal's server, but not being a part of Immortal given that I quit the guild on Aion and pretty much called them out for some of their behaviour there, and the running of the chapter into the ground and the like. Oh well. But at least on Lightbringer, there's a few people I know. I'd like to start or get into a static 10 man group that didn't suck too much. It would be pretty nice, and having people that you can trust to do the work... etc. There's a lot of things I'd like to do with that.

I should comment on Christmas, but that could be another entry, I think.

So, uh, who here is good at coloring icons and making icons based on lineart?

I, uh, need some help.

EDIT: What I need done is here, on pages 58 and 59. Not ALL OF THAT OBVS but whatever people feel like doing. God, I wouldn't ask for all of that B(

CHAUNI WON'T GIVE ME THINGS JUST BECAUSE I ASKED FOR THEM.

SHE IS A BUTT.

I have to say I'm kind of frustrated with the way things are going re: games I'm in. I dunno - I like a_trialbyfire but I need to message people for plot things and I just haven't felt like doing it. jigoku_apts I enjoy, but at the same time I haven't felt like DOING anything there, and I'm not sure what.

And as for traumendestadt lol.

lolololol.

On the plus side, I'm working on a Rune app for capeandcowl. Slowly. And realizing just how fucked up Phantasy Star canon is. EDIT: HAHAHA I FORGOT HOW MUCH OF A TREMENDOUS DICK HE IS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME. "I'm going to invite myself to join your group." Oh RUNE.

kukucrazywild, you are the best and made Christmas kind of awesome, especially considering you didn't need to do anything like that. ♥

ooh ooh pick me pick me

I hate watching people I like fight when there's almost nothing I can do about it.

WHATCHOO GONNA DO WHEN JAGUARMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

(ask for a dispenser here)

So, Lauren (tyrantvirus) and I went to go play Team Fortress 2 last night, and it contained some of the most hilarious fucking shit I've ever seen.

It started out fairly normal, with her and me basically carrying most of our shitty teams to (victory/mediocrity; pick one), given that the skill level on the server we were playing on at the time was ... not high. Or the competence level. Seriously, guys, we don't need three snipers on defense with eight people in the server - things like that. And don't get me wrong, it is fun as hell to play with Lauren normally.

It just got a lot more fun when both of us stopped giving a shit when we ended up on a team with two snipers on offense.

... and decided to create Team Huntsman, consisting of three snipers (all wielding Huntsmen), a medic (you know, to keep said snipers alive), and a bunch of other retarded crap that was basically the least effective team ever. I think we had like, two spies and a pyro too or some shit, it was the dumbest team composition I've ever seen.

Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the Huntsman in Team Fortress 2, it's an unlockable weapon for the Sniper class. The Sniper normally gets a sniper rifle, which is a fantastic weapon great for picking off people's heads, but has a fairly high skill ceiling. ... The Huntsman, on the other hand, is a fucking bow and arrow whose arrows have a hitbox approximately the size of the bloated corpse of Chris Farley, and really as long as your arrow is somewhere in the general vicinity of your enemy you will score a hit (and quite possibly a headshot as well). It's a fucking dumb weapon that's not really overpowered but it's used by players who don't like to learn how to aim.

It is also not that great of a weapon. Which is, of course, why we had three of them.

We also lacked any combat classes for the most part (our team composition kept changing, so at any point we may have had like, two or three in an 8v8 game), and god knows that Lauren as our medic wasn't gonna heal those when there were HUNTSMAN SNIPERS in need of healing, so you can kind of understand our surprise when TEAM HUNTSMAN managed to, uh, win the first round of Goldrush.

... and the second round.

... and then got scrambled apart by the server for being too good.

We had a bunch of gimmicks going on later, especially because we got a good chunk of the server to go along with it, like our giant melee only fights, but god damn, that game was amazing and had some choice exchanges.

Ranou: "Why don't we have any engineers? I need to get to the front lines faster."
Matty: "Have you considered... riding a Huntsman arrow to the front lines? Hmmmmmm???"

Also, the part where I got accused of hacking because some kid who claimed to be "a pro Counter-Strike: Source player" ran into Lauren's back while cloaked, which made him visible, and I promptly splatted him with a few rockets. It's the first time I've been accused in a long time of hacking, and it was kind of adorable.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that PEOPLE THAT HAVE TF2 ON MY FLIST, COME PLAY WITH US, IT RULES.

EDIT: Oh man, I also forgot about Kitty, who raged so hard when one of the enemy spies kept stabbing and sapping her stuff as an Engineer, because she had approximately the environmental awareness of cream of wheat. In retrospect it probably wasn't helpful to our team to encourage her to ragequit (because "spy is an easy class for newbs"), but god damn, she was so dumb and SO MAD.

Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My god what have we done to you?

We always try to share
The tenderest of care
Now look what we have put you through...

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

Angels with silver wings
Shouldn't know suffering
I wish I could take the pain for you

If God has a master plan
That only he understands
I hope it's your eyes he's seeing through

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

I pray you learn to trust
Have faith in both of us
And keep room in your heart for two

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Sunday I gave type40 a kidney (1000 points). In September I donated bone marrow to rinnakins in a life-saving procedure (300 points). Last Tuesday I punched daniidebrabant in the arm (-10 points). In November I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). In August I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points). Overall, I've been nice (1215 points). For Christmas I deserve a Lego set! Sincerely, mattybee

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I basically rule.

g i v e s m e h o p e

what gives you hope, muses? an RP meme

Do it. B)